Slideshow

Going to Boston?

So, there's some band named Augustana which has a song that's a hit, at least out here. It's all about leaving life in California and going to...Boston. Uh, what?

Let us hear from these poets:

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah

Tired of the weather? Nice in the summer? Some snow would be nice? Yes, some snow would have been nice. However, this past winter, I think we got snow four times, and it was either ice or slush. And in either case, it was mostly a nuisance.

Other notable tracks on their lastest album: "California's Burning."

I love this guy...

I've been doing a little bit of research to reflect back on my year as a stay-at-home dad. And in the process, I came across this little treasure. It's a great Washington Post video project called "onBeing." And in this segment, we meet Jeffrey, a SAHD, and his son, Beckham:

http://specials.washingtonpost.com/onbeing/#041707-1v-JeffreyB.1

I don't think we're cursed, but...

Last year, just before we set off for our Cambridge adventure, a section of Boston's "Big Dig" collapsed and killed a woman. The tunnel was closed for months causing traffic nightmares, especially if you wanted to go to the airport...

Now, here we are in April, about to head back to the Bay Area. And we see in the news that a gasoline truck has exploded on one of the major interchanges, collapsing part of the highway. Traffic nightmares are expected for months to come.

Coincidence?

Going to Carolina...

Last week, I made a whirlwind trip down to North Carolina. Normally, it's the kind of travel that I hate, and I'm glad I don't have the kind of job or life that involves constant business travel. But, of course, after 10 months with Thing One and Thing Two, sitting in the airport for four hours feels like liberation.

On Thursday, I picked up Jen from her class at MIT, and then walked to a nearby T station to get to the airport. I was three hours early for my flight. But no matter, I sat at the gate, reading the paper and listening to my iPod. Weeeee! I arrived at Raleigh around midnight, picked up a rental car and drove to Jen's parents house in Chapel Hill.

In the morning, I had a bunch of appointments at Duke for a project I'm working on for The Chronicle, the student newspaper. (More on this later). It was a glorious North Carolina day. The kind of mild spring day, when the sun is shining, and everything is just blooming, that makes me miss that area terribly.

I was back at the airport at 4 p.m., back on a plane, and back home just before midnight. Within about 30 seconds of walking in the door, Kalian was awake, screaming. I dropped my backpack, laid down in bed with her, and fell asleep. Back to my real job, as it were.

Go West, young man...?

Recently overheard in our car:

Liam: "Kalian, do you want to go back to Oakland?"

Kalian: "Yeah."

Liam: "Well, Kalian, we are never going back to Oakland. We have to stay in Cabridge. Okay?"

Kalian: "Otay."

Me: "Liam, are you trying to say that you're going to miss Cambridge?"

Liam: "Yeah."

Me: "What are you going to miss about Cambridge?"

Liam: "Nothing."

Me: "Are you excited to go back to Oakland?"

Liam: "Well...I don't know."

Meet the band....

Coming soon, to a Bay Area venue near you, the musical stylings of Liam and Kalian. Hit it:

Liam sings: Willy Was A Whale

Here's Liam singing his favorite Justin Roberts tune: Willy Was A Whale. He's getting close to mastering the whole thing. When I was showing him how the microphone on the computer worked, he just picked it up and started singing. He's pretty proud of himself.

One word of warning: This is the extended long-play Puff Daddy mix of this song. In other words, it goes on for awhile, so you may not make it all the way through. Still, here it is:

powered by ODEO

Fun phrases that Kalian has learned...

Kalian has become quite the chatter box these days. Just to make it more fun, Liam has taught her all sorts of delightful phrases. Here's some of my favorites:

"Go away, daddy!"
"I want milk...RIGHT NOW!"
"Yeah, we shoot."

And just added today:

"Stupid, daddy. Stupid, Bubba."

Only 16 more years until college...

Vacation, all I ever wanted...

Last month, Jen had her spring break. And we actually managed to take a trip. This is a bit dated, now. But I'm still clearing out a backlog of my half-composed posts. I've been busy with work-related (read: non-kid related) stuff. But more on that in another post.

For now, I'll just say we had a great time. We hopped in the car on a Tuesday, not sure exactly where we were headed. In that sense, it was much like our other New England trip, last August, to Vermont. Only this time, we were headed in the opposite direction, toward Rhode Island.

Initially, we thought to go to Mystic, sort of near the Connecticut/Rhode Island border. But we got a late start, and somewhat randomly decided on Newport. I had wanted to go there last fall, but never go around to it. And so there we were, headed to Newport, with no idea what exactly was there, or where we would stay. And somehow, again, it all worked out.

The drive was just over an hour, and after circling around town, we found an open room at the Jailhouse Inn, which as the name implies, was a former jail. Newport is a boating-beach-richie-rich sort of town. So going in late March was officially off season. That meant we got the room, which was a suite, for $60 per night. Normally, the same room would be $300 per night, post Memorial Day. Woo-hoo!

We stayed about three days and mostly did walks around town, found more great eating bargains. It seemed the locals were quite happy to have anyone in town during this time of year, even poverty stricken grad student types such ourselves. Newport had plenty of colonial history for us to wander around. And during the turn of the 20th century, it was apparently the hotspot for the Guilded Age set to build ostentatious castles. There's a spectacular walk along a cliff that takes you past the former residents of the Astors, Vanderbilts, etc.

Here's one of their little love shacks, known as "The Breakers":

Yowza.

Anyway, we had long walks along the water front. More cheap eats. And just a fun, relaxing time away from the madness. I wish we had time for more exploration. There's so much more I'd love to see up here. We haven't even touched Maine, New Hampshire...Ah, well. So much of our focus is no one returning to the Bay Area. That's already feeling epic enough...

Well, we definitely need the money...

After our income-free year in Cambridge, we'll have a nice debt to welcome us when we get back to Oakland. How should we pay it off? The answer may lie in this item posted to the Boston Burning Man listserv:

Hey there folks.

So I am friends with the producer/casting director for a tv series called "Wife Swap" and they are sick and tired of little cookie-cutter suburbanite families. They are looking for a "circus-esque family" that is quirky, extreme, creative, and/or different. They are looking for a family with flair and style. If your family is selected you will be paid $20,000 for doing the show which is an 11 day commitment, 6 of those days which you are seperated from your spouse. The rules are this *must be a Mom and Dad. They dont need to be married but they do need to live together *There must be at least one child between the ages 5-18 but they would love for there to be more than one child

I thought this could be an interesting and prosperous gig for the right folks. If you fit these parameters and are interested in more information please contact me and I will send along the information.

If only Liam were a few months older. Oh, well....

Brush with greatness...

Well, not exactly. But one recent dinner companion has had a moment in the spotlight.

We've finally come out of our shell and been more social in recent weeks. Something that's been tough to do out here given our schedules. But we've had some wonderful dinners in recent weeks, including a nice visit with Tim and Sarah, parents of one of Liam's classmates.

Another weekend, Jen brought over a guy from her MIT class and his wife. Sam, it turns out, specializes in studying...professional wrestling. He's a very interesting guy, actually, and we had a great time with both of them. Then, just a couple weeks later, Sam was featured in this story in The Boston Globe. Here's a taste:

Such discussions are a normal part of the newest full-credit course offering in MIT's Comparative Media Studies program: "American Pro Wrestling." The class explores the history of an American institution that brings athleticism, theatrical performance, and choreographed stunt work together in a square, roped-off ring. During the semester, students watch dozens upon dozens of wrestling matches, from 1980s clashes between Hulk Hogan and Randy "Macho Man" Savage to modern-day battles on "Monday Night Raw." Students examine how technology has transformed wrestling into a multimedia business, and how the styles and storytelling methods have changed over the years. The required reading on the syllabus includes colorful titles such as "Steel Chair to the Head" and "Sex, Lies, and Headlocks."

This quirky addition to the MIT course catalog was the brainchild of grad student Sam Ford, who designed and teaches the curriculum. The class has created buzz on the campus and beyond. One blogger called it "The Undisputed End of Higher Education." Ford said a radio station in California called the class "a sign of the apocalypse."

Why study wrestling? Ford hopes students "use the class to learn more about how to critically analyze, discuss, and write about the popular culture they consume." And he's not the only one who sees the academic value of it.

Read the full story here.

We'll be back...

Though there was never much doubt...As I mentioned in my email the other day...Yes, we're coming back to Oakland.

If folks haven't heard, Jen has been accepted into the University of California at Berkeley in the Sociology Department where she'll be a PhD candidate for the next 50 years or so. I am scheduled to return to the Mercury News in June, assuming it hasn't been sold yet again in my absence.

In fact, last night, we even booked our tickets...Our scheduled arrival is June 9. Prepare the parade.

When we return, you'll a chance to meet this short-haired weirdo:

Whoever he is...

Kalian's special brother...

Back in February, there was a fascinating piece published in the New York Times Magazine, "Her Autistic Brothers," by Olsson.

It's worth reading. In a nutshell, the piece looks at a teenage girl who has two slightly older twin brothers, who are autistic. It uses her as a case study to look at some recent research that shows that rather being a detriment, having siblings who are "special needs" can in some cases cause their brothers and sisters to become "supersiblings." That is, they become more advanced emotionally and developmentally.

The piece struck a chord. While it's too early to tell whether this is true of Kalian, it's been interesting to watch her rapid development, and how that may affect her relationship with Liam. Although she is only 21.5 months, she has mastered some things that Liam still struggles with, like holding a crayon with a tripod grasp, or her balance, which is phenomenal. We always try to avoid comparing, but can't help it sometimes. They both learned how to put on their jackets about the same time this year(the classic dip-and-flip).

Liam doesn't seem aware of this, or to resent it. Still, it can be difficult to watch at times. A couple days ago, I had to take Liam for a physical therapy evaluation at Cambridge Schools, to see if he qualifies for physical therapy. His skills were apparently all over the map (ie, throws a ball fine, can jump okay, can't stand on one leg, has trouble walking up stairs). Kalian was there, and of course, stood right up one leg while watching her brother try - and fail - to do that same.

At home, Kalian has slowly taken the dominant role in their relationship. They play together a lot more. But she'll instigate things like trying to provoke Liam by hitting him and then running away, looking over her shoulder to see if he's chasing her and giggling. And she constantly gets Liam in trouble by doing things like throwing her food, or dropping her cup, which makes Liam laugh and which he then imitates.

Perhaps the sweetest element of their relationship at the moment, though, is that they've started sleeping together in the same bed. Kalian has simply abandoned her crib, now that she can escape. She demands to sleep in her brother's bed ("I wan Bubba's bed"...Yes, she calls him "Bubba.")

Dad's day off...

Jen is on spring break this week. So as a bonus, I got a "day off." It's a Sunday, and after she got back from yoga, I took off. I was officially free for the day. Of course, it was quite chilly. But a I grabbed a backpack, my iPod, newspapers, books, and trekked on down to the T. I headed into the city, just wandering a bit, unencumbered. If that sounds less than exciting, let me assure you, it wasn't. Except for attending a journalism conference back in November, I hadn't really just experienced the city by myself very much. So this was liberating, wandering around Boston Commons, Copley Square, Quincy Market.

Near Boston Commons, I ducked into a movie theater, simply because I could. I saw "The Host," an excellent South Korean monster movie. Outstanding, really. After that, I toured some more, making my way to the North End, the Italian district. I stopped for an espresso, and then picked up some canolis to take home. I stopped in the old North Church (where Paul Revere got the infamous signal...)

But the funny thing was, all this alone time gave me time to think about how my time with the kids is coming to an end. As dinnertime neared, I knew I had permission to stay out as late as I wanted. But I decided to head home, because I missed the critters and Jen, of course. It was a surprise to me. Okay, maybe I'm just a masochist. But I know I'm going to miss spending all this time with them when we're back in Oakland. And so I got back for dinner and bedtime, glad to see them, and glad for day off.

Dan Zanes...

We had a fabulous time at our first Dan Zanes concert today. We went with a big group of folks, 20 including us. Somehow, I had gotten it into my head to turn this into a big production. Given the general craziness of our lives, I probably should have just bought us a few tickets and been done with it.

Still, I had originally thought that it would make a good outing for the kids in Liam's preschool. But it sort of morphed into something else. There was us, and two other Blue Room Families. Then there was a friend from Coop, our friends Anita and George, Bay Area transplants, Debbie, another SF refugee. In all, a diverse group, and lots of fun.

Our seats weren't stellar, but the kids were still into it. Here's a bad video clip, via my camera:

Father and sons...

By coincidence, I just read two consecutive books exploring relationships between father and sons.

The first was "Lay of the Land," by Richard Ford. This is the latest in Ford's epic "Frank Bascombe" trilogy. While the first two are among my favorite books, you don't need to have read them to appreciate this one. In any case, in this latest installment, our hero is 57, and gearing up to host a Thanksgiving weekend that will include a visit from his son, who is in his late 20s. While his son makes a decent living writing for a greeting card company in Kansas City, Frank, who lives on the Jersey shore, can't escape his disappointment over the way his son has turned out. It's not that the son is a failure, in any measurable way. Rather, for Bascombe, it's the small things, like his son's mullet, or that he lives in in the Midwest (gasp!), or that his worldview is considerably different. Despite good intentions, both father and son can't seem to connect, or understand each other. In the previous book, the son was a teenager with growing troubles in school and life which Frank tried -- and failed -- to repair.

The second book was "Gilead," by Marilynne Robinson. This was our latest book club pick. It's a slim, slow read. The father in this case is an Iowa pastor who got married and had a son in his late 60s. It's now the 1950s, and having just found out he doesn't have long to live, the father is writing a long letter to his young son, telling him all the things he will never have a chance to say when the boy is old enough to understand them. It's a subtle book that sneaks up you at the end.

I really enjoyed both, on their own terms. Of course, it's hard not to read them and not have the vague anxiety that all parents probably have at one point or another about how their kids will turn out, and how much you can even influence that. Will Liam be able to make friends? Will Kalian mellow out? Will Liam be a trenchcoat wearing, skateboarding, smoking-behind-the-school kid? Will Kalian continue along the path to becoming a girlie girl?

I guess the real question is this: Will I be able accept them for what they become, and not measure them against some ideal I had in mind for them? I hope so.

The Wisdom of Liam

The other day, I got a bit frustrated with Liam for spilling something. Frankly, I can't even remember exactly what it was. But I let loose with the "F-word" and immediately regretted it.

Liam then stuck his hands in pants and got a sad look on his face.

"Liam, are you sticking your hands in your pants because you're upset with me?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. And then: "Daddy, don't say f--k. Next time, just say, 'Liam, please don't do that.' Okay?"

Yes, buddy. Lesson learned.

Hair Today, part 2...

Speaking of hair (see Kalian's below), I had a radical makeover today. I got the SuperCuts special. And I shaved the Grizzly Adams beard that had sprouted. So I look 15 years old now. Jen is shell shocked. I'm sure my mom will be tickled. Kalian ran away from me when I picked her up at Coop today. Liam's friends ran over to check it out when I got him at preschool.

Noted one of the kids: "Hey, you're not going to be able to do a ponytail anymore."

True.

Liam's vision...

As were eating tonight, Liam announced:

"I have something fun I want to tell you guys. After dinner, I want to build a truck that blows up cars and houses and makes ice cream."