Old Friends And New Ones At The End Of Summer

Just returning from a wonderful afternoon spent at Dolores Park watching the fantastic SF Mime Troupe, a real Bay Area treasure. The musical this year, "Too Big To Fail." Not their best, but still spot on political satire.

Even better, though, we spent the afternoon with Doug and Karen, two new friends we've met through Liam's elementary school. It's taken awhile for us to really gel with anyone there. I think it's natural. But I was definitely overwhelmed last year with all the new faces. We had the 20 new families from his kindergarten room. And then there were the 25 new families at Kalian's new pre-school (her third school in three years, poor thing). I barely felt I had time for all the people in our lives already. And now we had another 45 families with which to mingle.

Back when we lived in Cambridge, it took almost the whole year before I felt like we were just become a part of some people's lives when we left. It's not easy, given that everyone comes to the table with their own friends, their own complicated lives.

For the past year, that's meant a lot of work arranging play-dates for Liam, who demands them constantly. As most parents know, this can feel like a full-time job, adding another layer of scheduling.

As such, we tend to be the ultimate last-minute people. This weekend, that paid off. We had old friends Lori and Ori, and daughters Hannah and Ruby, over for a BBQ on Saturday, responding to an email I sent out Friday night. We met through our midwife, initially worried that Hannah and Liam would be born too close together for us both to use her. Hannah and Liam went to pre-school together. And when we returned form Cambridge, we very nearly decided to move into their house (a duplex) and do the group house thing. Our blooming fruit trees in the back yard convinced us to stay put. (Though as a side note, had we sold our house, we would hit the very top of the housing market back in 2007. Ah, well).

Still, Lori and Ori are the kind of folks we worry about loosing touch with as the kids move to different schools. And so far, to our relief, it hasn't happened.

And on Sunday, also in a last minute invite, Karen and Doug met us at Dolores Park and then we grabbed burritos before riding Bart back together. Oddly, Liam's classmates Vera pals around with Kalian, while her younger brother Roy buddies up with Liam. I guess gender trumps age. But when our two have playmates, it makes all the difference. One hates to be mercenary, but there it is.

It was a great ending to summer. And I'm again promising myself that this Fall, I'll become a better planner.

Friends And The Guys Weekend

This is a photo from one of those wonderful playdates. I picked up Liam after his last day of NOCCS camp on Friday. We had a playdate scheduled with Kai (right). But at the last minute, I offered to take Eli (center) home as well. This constituted almost half of the NOCCS Star Wars club. Note that each kid separately wore a Star Wars shirt to camp that day. 

This might be something that most parents would take for granted. But not me. Not that long ago, having a playdate with more than one kid at a time was a challenge for Liam. As a kid diagnosed with high functioning autism, Liam's primary challenge remains his social skills. In a playdate with one kid, he does fine. But add one more to the mix, and he tends to fall out of sync and withdraw. 

So it was great to see the three of them really groove together. They came home, at the gluten-free cupcakes they baked at camp, and then dug right into the Lego box for two hours to build all sorts of Star Wars related ships. And naturally, at the end, I was called into to film yet another Star Wars Lego Movie Adventure. (see our YouTube channel for several choice episodes in this ongoing saga).

On the most fundamental level, it's simply wonderful to see that Liam has friends, real friends. I suppose that every parent worries that their kid won't have friends. But this has been heightened for us, given Liam's long-time social issues. It's not that he doesn't still have challenges, but it's still a wonderful site. 

The playdate was the start of our guys' weekend. Jen took Kalian out of town for the weekend to a music festival. Liam and I hung out, watched The Incredible Hulk on Friday, and Indiana Jones on Saturday. We built our own version of the board game Battleship and played several rounds. And in general, had a nice, mellow time together. I only wish that life could always been this easygoing. 

Warning to those with sons under the age of 6: Prepare for the onslaught of Star Wars/Comic book mania that hits at the start of kindergarten.