Well, after fumbling around for months, I've finally recorded a podcast. And as the title suggests, this may be the one an only as far as stay-at-home dad life goes. Anyway, give a listen and any feedback will be appreciated. Enjoy:
I'll keep this permanently posted in left-hand column, for those of you who just can't get enough.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
The New Human Body...
Today, I spent my morning over at a conference at MIT called "Human 2.0" or h2.O. It was hosted by the MIT Media Lab. I had hoped to do more stuff like this while I was out here. But it hasn't worked out that way, and that's fine. Still, I really wanted to check out the Media Lab. I've interviewed lots of folks at the Media Lab over the years, and have always been fascinated by the work over there.
When I called the press office, they invited me to attend this conference, which frankly I didn't know much about. But the two speakers I saw were both fascinating.
The conference looks at how to seamlessly move "technology into our bodies and minds in ways that will truly expand human capability." So what does that mean?
The first speaker I saw was Rosalind Picard who works on "affective computing." This includes things like trying to break down how people express emotions and teaching computers how to interpret that. It was a fascinating speech. But in particular, because it turns out that one of the potential applications was for people with autism. Picard's group is developing wearable computers that help autistic people respond to other people's emotions. It's called an "Emotional Social Intelligence Prosthesis."
I couldn't help but think of Liam during the speech. While he's not autistic, he faces many of the same social challenges. He can't make eye contact with people, which it makes it hard for him to receive all the signals they send and process them. Inevitably with other kids, this means he ends up walking away or getting left behind.
Picard made the analogy of a chess game. There are 20 possible opening moves in a chess game. By the fifth move, there are almost 5 million possible combinations of moves. Compare that to the human face, which can register 44 expressions. In just a simple back and forth, there are already millions of combinations. And rather than having minutes to process like a chess game, a person has milliseconds. If a person takes just a few milliseconds too long to process, like an autistic person, or like Liam, then they get lost very quickly.
I'm not sure if wearable computers are the answer. But it's an interesting emerging field.
The second speaker was Deb Roy who works with the Cognitive Machines group. What does that mean?: "Our goal is to create machines that learn to communicate in human- like ways by grasping the meaning of words in context and to understand how children acquire language through physical and social interaction."
How are they doing that? By trying to understand how kids acquire language. And how is Roy doing that? Well, he just happens to have a son who is just under two years of age. And since the kid was born, Roy and his wife have had video cameras installed in every room of their house and have recorded virtually every moment of their son's life. Now they are trying to analyze the millions of hours of digital video to better understand the mechanics of language acquisition. He calls it the "Human Speechome Project."
At the conference, Roy showed video collages of every time his son said "ball" over the course of a year. It was both sweet, and a bit disturbing. I wonder how it will affect that kids when he's older?
When I called the press office, they invited me to attend this conference, which frankly I didn't know much about. But the two speakers I saw were both fascinating.
The conference looks at how to seamlessly move "technology into our bodies and minds in ways that will truly expand human capability." So what does that mean?
The first speaker I saw was Rosalind Picard who works on "affective computing." This includes things like trying to break down how people express emotions and teaching computers how to interpret that. It was a fascinating speech. But in particular, because it turns out that one of the potential applications was for people with autism. Picard's group is developing wearable computers that help autistic people respond to other people's emotions. It's called an "Emotional Social Intelligence Prosthesis."
I couldn't help but think of Liam during the speech. While he's not autistic, he faces many of the same social challenges. He can't make eye contact with people, which it makes it hard for him to receive all the signals they send and process them. Inevitably with other kids, this means he ends up walking away or getting left behind.
Picard made the analogy of a chess game. There are 20 possible opening moves in a chess game. By the fifth move, there are almost 5 million possible combinations of moves. Compare that to the human face, which can register 44 expressions. In just a simple back and forth, there are already millions of combinations. And rather than having minutes to process like a chess game, a person has milliseconds. If a person takes just a few milliseconds too long to process, like an autistic person, or like Liam, then they get lost very quickly.
I'm not sure if wearable computers are the answer. But it's an interesting emerging field.
The second speaker was Deb Roy who works with the Cognitive Machines group. What does that mean?: "Our goal is to create machines that learn to communicate in human- like ways by grasping the meaning of words in context and to understand how children acquire language through physical and social interaction."
How are they doing that? By trying to understand how kids acquire language. And how is Roy doing that? Well, he just happens to have a son who is just under two years of age. And since the kid was born, Roy and his wife have had video cameras installed in every room of their house and have recorded virtually every moment of their son's life. Now they are trying to analyze the millions of hours of digital video to better understand the mechanics of language acquisition. He calls it the "Human Speechome Project."
At the conference, Roy showed video collages of every time his son said "ball" over the course of a year. It was both sweet, and a bit disturbing. I wonder how it will affect that kids when he's older?
Monday, May 07, 2007
What I'll Miss...What I Won't Miss...
Okay, here's what I'll miss, and what I won't miss about life out here:
What I'll miss:
1. Darwin's. Our favorite cafe, conveniently located around the corner from Liam's preschool.
2. Full Moon Cafe. Remember that kid-friendly restaurant with a play area for kids, and kick-ass kinda-gourmet food that you have fantasized about? They have one here. I want to eat there every day.
3. The Museum Of Science.
4. The renovated Children's Museum. It rocks!
5. Boston Commons. Frog pond.
6. Summer. Heat. Not wearing a sweater on the 4th of July.
7. Having extended family nearby.
8. Candlepin bowling.
9. Cambridge-Ellis (Liam's preschool).
10. Coop! Kalian just learned how to say it ("Tow-op.")
What I won't miss:
1. Cash only. A shocking number of places out here only take cash. Really. No ATM or credit cards. It's Darwin's only flaw.
2. Pumping gas. For some reason, the gas pumps don't have that hook on the nozzle that lets you squeeze it, and then lock it. Instead, you have to squeeze and hold the nozzle the entire time you're pumping. Yes, I'm spoiled. But I like my conveniences!
3. The Drivers. They've invented their own system of driving out here, and it involves a lot of horn honking. I fantasize about carrying a club in the car now. It's a sickness.
4. The Boston Globe. We live in Cambridge, and they can never deliver the paper before 7:30 a.m. And they wonder why they're dying?
5. The T. Not kid friendly. Not stroller friendly.
6. Our apartment. Great location. But no yard. Not very big. We've had ants. We've had mice. Ick.
7. The desperate hour between 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. when Liam and Kalian draw swords and attemtpt to simultaneously kill each other, destroy apartment, and unleash the apocalypse.
What I'll miss:
1. Darwin's. Our favorite cafe, conveniently located around the corner from Liam's preschool.
2. Full Moon Cafe. Remember that kid-friendly restaurant with a play area for kids, and kick-ass kinda-gourmet food that you have fantasized about? They have one here. I want to eat there every day.
3. The Museum Of Science.
4. The renovated Children's Museum. It rocks!
5. Boston Commons. Frog pond.
6. Summer. Heat. Not wearing a sweater on the 4th of July.
7. Having extended family nearby.
8. Candlepin bowling.
9. Cambridge-Ellis (Liam's preschool).
10. Coop! Kalian just learned how to say it ("Tow-op.")
What I won't miss:
1. Cash only. A shocking number of places out here only take cash. Really. No ATM or credit cards. It's Darwin's only flaw.
2. Pumping gas. For some reason, the gas pumps don't have that hook on the nozzle that lets you squeeze it, and then lock it. Instead, you have to squeeze and hold the nozzle the entire time you're pumping. Yes, I'm spoiled. But I like my conveniences!
3. The Drivers. They've invented their own system of driving out here, and it involves a lot of horn honking. I fantasize about carrying a club in the car now. It's a sickness.
4. The Boston Globe. We live in Cambridge, and they can never deliver the paper before 7:30 a.m. And they wonder why they're dying?
5. The T. Not kid friendly. Not stroller friendly.
6. Our apartment. Great location. But no yard. Not very big. We've had ants. We've had mice. Ick.
7. The desperate hour between 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. when Liam and Kalian draw swords and attemtpt to simultaneously kill each other, destroy apartment, and unleash the apocalypse.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
I need a raise...
As part of a mother's day promotion, Salary.com has posted a salary calculator for stay-at-home moms. Of course, on some level, this is nonsense, right? Still, I couldn't resist working my through their data:
So how do they break down those job functions?
Even better, there was a wizard that allows you to adjust the salary based on location. So based on that, in theory, when Jen was a stay-at-home mom with 2 preschool kids in Oakland, her salary would have been: $161,557.
Of course, I was a bit miffed that the focus was exclusively on moms. Then I noticed a small link at the bottom that said, "What about dad?" When I clicked, it took me to an equivalent calculator for dads. My salary as a SAHD in Cambridge: $144,081. Hmmm. I wonder if I could use that to haggle for a whopping raise when I return to work next month? Probably not.
In any case, the other interesting thing to note is the difference in the ways they break down the task for a mom versus a dad. For instance, the Salary.com wizard lists "housekeeper" as a mom's top ask at 18.9 hours per week. Dad's top task is "day care center teacher" at 17 hours per week. The calculator assumes a dad spends half as much time doing laundry, but more time cooking. A mom spends 5.8 hours per week being a psychologist, but a dad only spends 2.3 hours. On the other hand, dads apparently spend 2.3 hours as a groundskeeper, while mom spends none.
To see what you're stay-at-home value is, check out the calculator here.
Based on a survey of more than 40,000 mothers, Salary.com determined that the time mothers spend performing 10 typical job functions would equate to an annual salary of $138,095 for a stay-at-home mom.
So how do they break down those job functions?
The job titles that best matched a mom's definition of her work are (in order of hours spent per week): housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, CEO and psychologist.
Even better, there was a wizard that allows you to adjust the salary based on location. So based on that, in theory, when Jen was a stay-at-home mom with 2 preschool kids in Oakland, her salary would have been: $161,557.
Of course, I was a bit miffed that the focus was exclusively on moms. Then I noticed a small link at the bottom that said, "What about dad?" When I clicked, it took me to an equivalent calculator for dads. My salary as a SAHD in Cambridge: $144,081. Hmmm. I wonder if I could use that to haggle for a whopping raise when I return to work next month? Probably not.
In any case, the other interesting thing to note is the difference in the ways they break down the task for a mom versus a dad. For instance, the Salary.com wizard lists "housekeeper" as a mom's top ask at 18.9 hours per week. Dad's top task is "day care center teacher" at 17 hours per week. The calculator assumes a dad spends half as much time doing laundry, but more time cooking. A mom spends 5.8 hours per week being a psychologist, but a dad only spends 2.3 hours. On the other hand, dads apparently spend 2.3 hours as a groundskeeper, while mom spends none.
To see what you're stay-at-home value is, check out the calculator here.
T-Ball...
I took Liam (and Kalian) to a Cambridge T-Ball class this morning. Liam had a ball, and two of his classmates from his pre-school were there, Reed and Sammy:
Friday, May 04, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Going to Boston?
So, there's some band named Augustana which has a song that's a hit, at least out here. It's all about leaving life in California and going to...Boston. Uh, what?
Let us hear from these poets:
Tired of the weather? Nice in the summer? Some snow would be nice? Yes, some snow would have been nice. However, this past winter, I think we got snow four times, and it was either ice or slush. And in either case, it was mostly a nuisance.
Other notable tracks on their lastest album: "California's Burning."
Let us hear from these poets:
She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah
Tired of the weather? Nice in the summer? Some snow would be nice? Yes, some snow would have been nice. However, this past winter, I think we got snow four times, and it was either ice or slush. And in either case, it was mostly a nuisance.
Other notable tracks on their lastest album: "California's Burning."
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
I love this guy...
I've been doing a little bit of research to reflect back on my year as a stay-at-home dad. And in the process, I came across this little treasure. It's a great Washington Post video project called "onBeing." And in this segment, we meet Jeffrey, a SAHD, and his son, Beckham:
http://specials.washingtonpost.com/onbeing/#041707-1v-JeffreyB.1
http://specials.washingtonpost.com/onbeing/#041707-1v-JeffreyB.1
Monday, April 30, 2007
I don't think we're cursed, but...
Last year, just before we set off for our Cambridge adventure, a section of Boston's "Big Dig" collapsed and killed a woman. The tunnel was closed for months causing traffic nightmares, especially if you wanted to go to the airport...
Now, here we are in April, about to head back to the Bay Area. And we see in the news that a gasoline truck has exploded on one of the major interchanges, collapsing part of the highway. Traffic nightmares are expected for months to come.
Coincidence?
Now, here we are in April, about to head back to the Bay Area. And we see in the news that a gasoline truck has exploded on one of the major interchanges, collapsing part of the highway. Traffic nightmares are expected for months to come.
Coincidence?
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Going to Carolina...
Last week, I made a whirlwind trip down to North Carolina. Normally, it's the kind of travel that I hate, and I'm glad I don't have the kind of job or life that involves constant business travel. But, of course, after 10 months with Thing One and Thing Two, sitting in the airport for four hours feels like liberation.
On Thursday, I picked up Jen from her class at MIT, and then walked to a nearby T station to get to the airport. I was three hours early for my flight. But no matter, I sat at the gate, reading the paper and listening to my iPod. Weeeee! I arrived at Raleigh around midnight, picked up a rental car and drove to Jen's parents house in Chapel Hill.
In the morning, I had a bunch of appointments at Duke for a project I'm working on for The Chronicle, the student newspaper. (More on this later). It was a glorious North Carolina day. The kind of mild spring day, when the sun is shining, and everything is just blooming, that makes me miss that area terribly.
I was back at the airport at 4 p.m., back on a plane, and back home just before midnight. Within about 30 seconds of walking in the door, Kalian was awake, screaming. I dropped my backpack, laid down in bed with her, and fell asleep. Back to my real job, as it were.
On Thursday, I picked up Jen from her class at MIT, and then walked to a nearby T station to get to the airport. I was three hours early for my flight. But no matter, I sat at the gate, reading the paper and listening to my iPod. Weeeee! I arrived at Raleigh around midnight, picked up a rental car and drove to Jen's parents house in Chapel Hill.
In the morning, I had a bunch of appointments at Duke for a project I'm working on for The Chronicle, the student newspaper. (More on this later). It was a glorious North Carolina day. The kind of mild spring day, when the sun is shining, and everything is just blooming, that makes me miss that area terribly.
I was back at the airport at 4 p.m., back on a plane, and back home just before midnight. Within about 30 seconds of walking in the door, Kalian was awake, screaming. I dropped my backpack, laid down in bed with her, and fell asleep. Back to my real job, as it were.
Go West, young man...?
Recently overheard in our car:
Liam: "Kalian, do you want to go back to Oakland?"
Kalian: "Yeah."
Liam: "Well, Kalian, we are never going back to Oakland. We have to stay in Cabridge. Okay?"
Kalian: "Otay."
Me: "Liam, are you trying to say that you're going to miss Cambridge?"
Liam: "Yeah."
Me: "What are you going to miss about Cambridge?"
Liam: "Nothing."
Me: "Are you excited to go back to Oakland?"
Liam: "Well...I don't know."
Liam: "Kalian, do you want to go back to Oakland?"
Kalian: "Yeah."
Liam: "Well, Kalian, we are never going back to Oakland. We have to stay in Cabridge. Okay?"
Kalian: "Otay."
Me: "Liam, are you trying to say that you're going to miss Cambridge?"
Liam: "Yeah."
Me: "What are you going to miss about Cambridge?"
Liam: "Nothing."
Me: "Are you excited to go back to Oakland?"
Liam: "Well...I don't know."
Monday, April 16, 2007
Meet the band....
Coming soon, to a Bay Area venue near you, the musical stylings of Liam and Kalian. Hit it:
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Liam sings: Willy Was A Whale
Here's Liam singing his favorite Justin Roberts tune: Willy Was A Whale. He's getting close to mastering the whole thing. When I was showing him how the microphone on the computer worked, he just picked it up and started singing. He's pretty proud of himself.
One word of warning: This is the extended long-play Puff Daddy mix of this song. In other words, it goes on for awhile, so you may not make it all the way through. Still, here it is:
One word of warning: This is the extended long-play Puff Daddy mix of this song. In other words, it goes on for awhile, so you may not make it all the way through. Still, here it is:
Fun phrases that Kalian has learned...
Kalian has become quite the chatter box these days. Just to make it more fun, Liam has taught her all sorts of delightful phrases. Here's some of my favorites:
"Go away, daddy!"
"I want milk...RIGHT NOW!"
"Yeah, we shoot."
And just added today:
"Stupid, daddy. Stupid, Bubba."
Only 16 more years until college...
"Go away, daddy!"
"I want milk...RIGHT NOW!"
"Yeah, we shoot."
And just added today:
"Stupid, daddy. Stupid, Bubba."
Only 16 more years until college...
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Vacation, all I ever wanted...
Last month, Jen had her spring break. And we actually managed to take a trip. This is a bit dated, now. But I'm still clearing out a backlog of my half-composed posts. I've been busy with work-related (read: non-kid related) stuff. But more on that in another post.
For now, I'll just say we had a great time. We hopped in the car on a Tuesday, not sure exactly where we were headed. In that sense, it was much like our other New England trip, last August, to Vermont. Only this time, we were headed in the opposite direction, toward Rhode Island.
Initially, we thought to go to Mystic, sort of near the Connecticut/Rhode Island border. But we got a late start, and somewhat randomly decided on Newport. I had wanted to go there last fall, but never go around to it. And so there we were, headed to Newport, with no idea what exactly was there, or where we would stay. And somehow, again, it all worked out.
The drive was just over an hour, and after circling around town, we found an open room at the Jailhouse Inn, which as the name implies, was a former jail. Newport is a boating-beach-richie-rich sort of town. So going in late March was officially off season. That meant we got the room, which was a suite, for $60 per night. Normally, the same room would be $300 per night, post Memorial Day. Woo-hoo!
We stayed about three days and mostly did walks around town, found more great eating bargains. It seemed the locals were quite happy to have anyone in town during this time of year, even poverty stricken grad student types such ourselves. Newport had plenty of colonial history for us to wander around. And during the turn of the 20th century, it was apparently the hotspot for the Guilded Age set to build ostentatious castles. There's a spectacular walk along a cliff that takes you past the former residents of the Astors, Vanderbilts, etc.
Here's one of their little love shacks, known as "The Breakers":
Yowza.
Anyway, we had long walks along the water front. More cheap eats. And just a fun, relaxing time away from the madness. I wish we had time for more exploration. There's so much more I'd love to see up here. We haven't even touched Maine, New Hampshire...Ah, well. So much of our focus is no one returning to the Bay Area. That's already feeling epic enough...
For now, I'll just say we had a great time. We hopped in the car on a Tuesday, not sure exactly where we were headed. In that sense, it was much like our other New England trip, last August, to Vermont. Only this time, we were headed in the opposite direction, toward Rhode Island.
Initially, we thought to go to Mystic, sort of near the Connecticut/Rhode Island border. But we got a late start, and somewhat randomly decided on Newport. I had wanted to go there last fall, but never go around to it. And so there we were, headed to Newport, with no idea what exactly was there, or where we would stay. And somehow, again, it all worked out.
The drive was just over an hour, and after circling around town, we found an open room at the Jailhouse Inn, which as the name implies, was a former jail. Newport is a boating-beach-richie-rich sort of town. So going in late March was officially off season. That meant we got the room, which was a suite, for $60 per night. Normally, the same room would be $300 per night, post Memorial Day. Woo-hoo!
We stayed about three days and mostly did walks around town, found more great eating bargains. It seemed the locals were quite happy to have anyone in town during this time of year, even poverty stricken grad student types such ourselves. Newport had plenty of colonial history for us to wander around. And during the turn of the 20th century, it was apparently the hotspot for the Guilded Age set to build ostentatious castles. There's a spectacular walk along a cliff that takes you past the former residents of the Astors, Vanderbilts, etc.
Here's one of their little love shacks, known as "The Breakers":
Yowza.
Anyway, we had long walks along the water front. More cheap eats. And just a fun, relaxing time away from the madness. I wish we had time for more exploration. There's so much more I'd love to see up here. We haven't even touched Maine, New Hampshire...Ah, well. So much of our focus is no one returning to the Bay Area. That's already feeling epic enough...
Well, we definitely need the money...
After our income-free year in Cambridge, we'll have a nice debt to welcome us when we get back to Oakland. How should we pay it off? The answer may lie in this item posted to the Boston Burning Man listserv:
If only Liam were a few months older. Oh, well....
Hey there folks.
So I am friends with the producer/casting director for a tv series called "Wife Swap" and they are sick and tired of little cookie-cutter suburbanite families. They are looking for a "circus-esque family" that is quirky, extreme, creative, and/or different. They are looking for a family with flair and style. If your family is selected you will be paid $20,000 for doing the show which is an 11 day commitment, 6 of those days which you are seperated from your spouse. The rules are this *must be a Mom and Dad. They dont need to be married but they do need to live together *There must be at least one child between the ages 5-18 but they would love for there to be more than one child
I thought this could be an interesting and prosperous gig for the right folks. If you fit these parameters and are interested in more information please contact me and I will send along the information.
If only Liam were a few months older. Oh, well....
Brush with greatness...
Well, not exactly. But one recent dinner companion has had a moment in the spotlight.
We've finally come out of our shell and been more social in recent weeks. Something that's been tough to do out here given our schedules. But we've had some wonderful dinners in recent weeks, including a nice visit with Tim and Sarah, parents of one of Liam's classmates.
Another weekend, Jen brought over a guy from her MIT class and his wife. Sam, it turns out, specializes in studying...professional wrestling. He's a very interesting guy, actually, and we had a great time with both of them. Then, just a couple weeks later, Sam was featured in this story in The Boston Globe. Here's a taste:
Read the full story here.
We've finally come out of our shell and been more social in recent weeks. Something that's been tough to do out here given our schedules. But we've had some wonderful dinners in recent weeks, including a nice visit with Tim and Sarah, parents of one of Liam's classmates.
Another weekend, Jen brought over a guy from her MIT class and his wife. Sam, it turns out, specializes in studying...professional wrestling. He's a very interesting guy, actually, and we had a great time with both of them. Then, just a couple weeks later, Sam was featured in this story in The Boston Globe. Here's a taste:
Such discussions are a normal part of the newest full-credit course offering in MIT's Comparative Media Studies program: "American Pro Wrestling." The class explores the history of an American institution that brings athleticism, theatrical performance, and choreographed stunt work together in a square, roped-off ring. During the semester, students watch dozens upon dozens of wrestling matches, from 1980s clashes between Hulk Hogan and Randy "Macho Man" Savage to modern-day battles on "Monday Night Raw." Students examine how technology has transformed wrestling into a multimedia business, and how the styles and storytelling methods have changed over the years. The required reading on the syllabus includes colorful titles such as "Steel Chair to the Head" and "Sex, Lies, and Headlocks."
This quirky addition to the MIT course catalog was the brainchild of grad student Sam Ford, who designed and teaches the curriculum. The class has created buzz on the campus and beyond. One blogger called it "The Undisputed End of Higher Education." Ford said a radio station in California called the class "a sign of the apocalypse."
Why study wrestling? Ford hopes students "use the class to learn more about how to critically analyze, discuss, and write about the popular culture they consume." And he's not the only one who sees the academic value of it.
Read the full story here.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
We'll be back...
Though there was never much doubt...As I mentioned in my email the other day...Yes, we're coming back to Oakland.
If folks haven't heard, Jen has been accepted into the University of California at Berkeley in the Sociology Department where she'll be a PhD candidate for the next 50 years or so. I am scheduled to return to the Mercury News in June, assuming it hasn't been sold yet again in my absence.
In fact, last night, we even booked our tickets...Our scheduled arrival is June 9. Prepare the parade.
When we return, you'll a chance to meet this short-haired weirdo:
Whoever he is...
If folks haven't heard, Jen has been accepted into the University of California at Berkeley in the Sociology Department where she'll be a PhD candidate for the next 50 years or so. I am scheduled to return to the Mercury News in June, assuming it hasn't been sold yet again in my absence.
In fact, last night, we even booked our tickets...Our scheduled arrival is June 9. Prepare the parade.
When we return, you'll a chance to meet this short-haired weirdo:
Whoever he is...
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Kalian's special brother...
Back in February, there was a fascinating piece published in the New York Times Magazine, "Her Autistic Brothers," by Olsson.
It's worth reading. In a nutshell, the piece looks at a teenage girl who has two slightly older twin brothers, who are autistic. It uses her as a case study to look at some recent research that shows that rather being a detriment, having siblings who are "special needs" can in some cases cause their brothers and sisters to become "supersiblings." That is, they become more advanced emotionally and developmentally.
The piece struck a chord. While it's too early to tell whether this is true of Kalian, it's been interesting to watch her rapid development, and how that may affect her relationship with Liam. Although she is only 21.5 months, she has mastered some things that Liam still struggles with, like holding a crayon with a tripod grasp, or her balance, which is phenomenal. We always try to avoid comparing, but can't help it sometimes. They both learned how to put on their jackets about the same time this year(the classic dip-and-flip).
Liam doesn't seem aware of this, or to resent it. Still, it can be difficult to watch at times. A couple days ago, I had to take Liam for a physical therapy evaluation at Cambridge Schools, to see if he qualifies for physical therapy. His skills were apparently all over the map (ie, throws a ball fine, can jump okay, can't stand on one leg, has trouble walking up stairs). Kalian was there, and of course, stood right up one leg while watching her brother try - and fail - to do that same.
At home, Kalian has slowly taken the dominant role in their relationship. They play together a lot more. But she'll instigate things like trying to provoke Liam by hitting him and then running away, looking over her shoulder to see if he's chasing her and giggling. And she constantly gets Liam in trouble by doing things like throwing her food, or dropping her cup, which makes Liam laugh and which he then imitates.
Perhaps the sweetest element of their relationship at the moment, though, is that they've started sleeping together in the same bed. Kalian has simply abandoned her crib, now that she can escape. She demands to sleep in her brother's bed ("I wan Bubba's bed"...Yes, she calls him "Bubba.")
It's worth reading. In a nutshell, the piece looks at a teenage girl who has two slightly older twin brothers, who are autistic. It uses her as a case study to look at some recent research that shows that rather being a detriment, having siblings who are "special needs" can in some cases cause their brothers and sisters to become "supersiblings." That is, they become more advanced emotionally and developmentally.
The piece struck a chord. While it's too early to tell whether this is true of Kalian, it's been interesting to watch her rapid development, and how that may affect her relationship with Liam. Although she is only 21.5 months, she has mastered some things that Liam still struggles with, like holding a crayon with a tripod grasp, or her balance, which is phenomenal. We always try to avoid comparing, but can't help it sometimes. They both learned how to put on their jackets about the same time this year(the classic dip-and-flip).
Liam doesn't seem aware of this, or to resent it. Still, it can be difficult to watch at times. A couple days ago, I had to take Liam for a physical therapy evaluation at Cambridge Schools, to see if he qualifies for physical therapy. His skills were apparently all over the map (ie, throws a ball fine, can jump okay, can't stand on one leg, has trouble walking up stairs). Kalian was there, and of course, stood right up one leg while watching her brother try - and fail - to do that same.
At home, Kalian has slowly taken the dominant role in their relationship. They play together a lot more. But she'll instigate things like trying to provoke Liam by hitting him and then running away, looking over her shoulder to see if he's chasing her and giggling. And she constantly gets Liam in trouble by doing things like throwing her food, or dropping her cup, which makes Liam laugh and which he then imitates.
Perhaps the sweetest element of their relationship at the moment, though, is that they've started sleeping together in the same bed. Kalian has simply abandoned her crib, now that she can escape. She demands to sleep in her brother's bed ("I wan Bubba's bed"...Yes, she calls him "Bubba.")
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Dad's day off...
Jen is on spring break this week. So as a bonus, I got a "day off." It's a Sunday, and after she got back from yoga, I took off. I was officially free for the day. Of course, it was quite chilly. But a I grabbed a backpack, my iPod, newspapers, books, and trekked on down to the T. I headed into the city, just wandering a bit, unencumbered. If that sounds less than exciting, let me assure you, it wasn't. Except for attending a journalism conference back in November, I hadn't really just experienced the city by myself very much. So this was liberating, wandering around Boston Commons, Copley Square, Quincy Market.
Near Boston Commons, I ducked into a movie theater, simply because I could. I saw "The Host," an excellent South Korean monster movie. Outstanding, really. After that, I toured some more, making my way to the North End, the Italian district. I stopped for an espresso, and then picked up some canolis to take home. I stopped in the old North Church (where Paul Revere got the infamous signal...)
But the funny thing was, all this alone time gave me time to think about how my time with the kids is coming to an end. As dinnertime neared, I knew I had permission to stay out as late as I wanted. But I decided to head home, because I missed the critters and Jen, of course. It was a surprise to me. Okay, maybe I'm just a masochist. But I know I'm going to miss spending all this time with them when we're back in Oakland. And so I got back for dinner and bedtime, glad to see them, and glad for day off.
Near Boston Commons, I ducked into a movie theater, simply because I could. I saw "The Host," an excellent South Korean monster movie. Outstanding, really. After that, I toured some more, making my way to the North End, the Italian district. I stopped for an espresso, and then picked up some canolis to take home. I stopped in the old North Church (where Paul Revere got the infamous signal...)
But the funny thing was, all this alone time gave me time to think about how my time with the kids is coming to an end. As dinnertime neared, I knew I had permission to stay out as late as I wanted. But I decided to head home, because I missed the critters and Jen, of course. It was a surprise to me. Okay, maybe I'm just a masochist. But I know I'm going to miss spending all this time with them when we're back in Oakland. And so I got back for dinner and bedtime, glad to see them, and glad for day off.
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