AT-AT DAY AFTERNOON

Chillaxin' in the hot tub, near the chicken coop.

Bolinas beach

Liam's First Lego Animation

It was only a matter of time before I relented, and made a stop-action Lego video with Liam. Aside from the shoddy quality, it was really a lot of fun. And he was so proud once I showed it to him. He also insisted we add music, which definitely does help.

So it begins....

Kalian said the other day:

"I'm beautiful and Liam's cool, right?"

Sigh.

Why we didn't get a Wii for Christmas

I wanted to share a column I wrote Monday for the Mercury News on our decision not to get the Wii this year. Enjoy:

by Chris O'Brien

Before the holidays, I knew exactly what I was going to write in this space.

My wife and I were planning to buy a Wii for Christmas. It would be my first video game system since my Atari back in the early 1980s. And I expected to wax joyfully about our family's plunge into the world of video games.

Except things didn't quite work out that way.

We did buy a Wii. But 24 hours and one panic attack later, I returned it with immense relief.
Perhaps this makes me a traitor to the economy, or an unwelcome Luddite in the gloriously high-tech Silicon Valley. But before a geek lynch mob hunts me down, let me explain why we opted — mostly — for a tech-gadget-free holiday.

I've had almost no interest in video games since I was in junior high school. I came of age in the Pac Man-Donkey Kong generation. After bowling league on Saturday mornings (yes, I was on a bowling team), I'd head for the arcade and play Galaga or Ms. Pac Man. But as games became more complex, more lifelike, I lost interest. I owned the first Atari, and I played Frogger on it.

But that's about as far as it went.

When I became a columnist almost two years ago, I felt pretty comfortable writing about most topics because I've covered just about everything in my decade in Silicon Valley. But video games were a definite blind spot for me. As the XBox, PlayStation and Wii consoles made video games one of the most popular and lucrative forms of entertainment,

I abstained.

Filling in that knowledge gap was one of the ways I rationalized getting a Wii: I needed it for work. Yeah, that's it.

But really, my interest in video games has been rekindled because of my two kids, Liam, 7, and Kalian, 4. They've become increasingly curious about computers. My wife and I, like many parents, have been trying to strike a balance between letting them explore computers, and keeping them from becoming techno-obsessed shut-ins who spend all day online and have no friends. Our current rule is that each kid gets 30 minutes of "screen time" once a week to play games online, surf the Web or print out coloring pages.

Beyond that, Liam has been playing with Wiis when he visits friends, or his cousins in Scotts Valley, or believe it or not, our local YMCA. The Wii seemed by far to be the most family-friendly gaming system. And with the price falling to $199, this seemed like the right time to dive in.

So the week before Christmas, I drove over to the nearest Best Buy. And that's when the anxiety set in.

There were plenty of Wiis in stock, so no problems there. I picked one up and was asking an employee a couple of questions when he noted that the console came with only one controller.
Hmmm. One controller + two kids = eye-gouging fights Christmas morning. I knew I needed another one, which cost $49.

Then I began looking for a couple of games to go with it. I knew we'd be paying a bit more for these. But as I looked at some games we wanted, like "Lego Rock Band," I realized that I needed other controllers, like a microphone, drums or guitar. These could run another $100 or more if I got all of them. So I passed and didn't get any games, figuring they could just play the games that came with it for now.

As I examined the box, I realized that I had forgotten that the Wii could also be connected to the Web. The problem here was that our cable modem is in the kitchen (don't ask) and the TV is in the living room. Guess that's a headache I'd have to figure out later.

As I was finally checking out, the cashier asked if I wanted any batteries. "Batteries? For what?" I wondered. She explained that the controllers ran on batteries. Gulp. I grabbed a package of rechargeable batteries, for about $30.

Having spent about $90 more than I expected, I had a few knots in my stomach on the way home and was kicking myself for not doing my research. Bad columnist. Bad.

Back on the couch, as my wife and I were discussing this, we also started trying to figure out what the new policies governing this device would be. Would we still have only 30 minutes of screen time a week? Could they play it every day for 10 minutes? One thing was sure: They'd be asking for it every second of every day.

Cue the panic attack. The next day I returned the whole thing. No questions asked, thank you very much.

Come Christmas morning, I knew I had done the right thing. First of all, had there been a Wii, it would have overshadowed every single other gift. As it was, Liam was excited by his Lego sets and Bakugan ball. Kalian was tickled by her Groovy Girls dolls. (Our attempts at gender-neutral parenting have not been 100 percent successful.) And both of them have been enjoying some basic board games we got this year: Trouble and Operation (which technically is a consumer electronic device). All of these would likely be gathering dust on a shelf somewhere if we kept the Wii.

Now, it's not like we're anti-video games. In fact, Liam's favorite activity during his screen time is to play "The Hunt for R2-D2" on the Lego.com Web site. And Kalian likes to play some Barbie games online. Both of these are free. The graphics are richer than anything I could have imagined back in my Atari days. Why shell out $10 to $30 for new games when there are so many free kids games online at places like the Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network sites?

Now, in all likelihood, we will probably — probably! — get a Wii next year. But for now, the kids seem quite content with the other consumer electronic gadget we did buy this year: a calculator.
If I can maintain that childhood innocence, that appreciation of simple things, for one more year, then passing on the Wii this year was the right move.

Contact Chris O'Brien at 415-298-0207 or cobrien@mercurynews.com. Follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sjcobrien and read his blog posts at http://www.siliconbeat.com/.

Liam gets a job

Yes, you read the title of that post right. Liam, age 7, now has a job at our local public library. A couple of weeks ago, I took Liam and Kalian to the library to kill a couple of hours there. And out of nowhere, Liam walked up to one of the librarians (who he knows and loves) and asked if he could have a job. And to her credit, she didn't just laugh it off. Instead, she started talking to him about what he'd like to do and when he'd like to do it.

Liam said he wanted to help put books back on shelves. She said that was something he could work up to, but instead suggested she needed help putting stickers on books (the ones where you stamp the date on). She wrote up a small contract and agreed to pay Liam 25 cents an hour.

And so, after a couple of phone calls, Liam went to the library for an hour and helped her. Jen and Kalian hung around, but everything seemed to go fine. And it was clear, when I got home that night, how proud he was.

Nothing epic, but just one of those reminders that somehow, despite our parental bungling, he's actually growing up and becoming his own, independent guy.

Liam Turns Seven

A two-week marathon of holidays and birthday parties came to end, at last, today, with Liam's birthday party at Albany Bowl. Because his birthday falls on Dec. 30, we go overboard making sure he doesn't feel like he's getting short-changed because of the proximity to Christmas. So, instead, he gets four parties: school, at Mickey's, at home with us, and then an official party party. He asked for a bowling party, perhaps remembering how much he enjoyed his fourth birthday party in Cambridge which was also a bowling party.

We had a phenomenal afternoon, bowling and playing arcade games. I'm not sure how much Liam was really interested in the bowling. But he was clearly delighted to be surrounded by friends. I was very happy for him. Happy birthday, buddy. I can't believe it's already been seven years.

Back To Blogging

I didn't set out to intentionally take a three month break from blogging. But that's what happened. I didn't fall off the face of the planet. But I did realize that I had been going full blazes for quite some time. And to be honest, I got a little burned out. I kicked into overdrive across several of the places where I blog professionally last summer, as well as here.

Then, in early October, I attended four journalism-related conferences that had me blogging and tweeting non-stop. By mid-October, I decided to step back for a couple weeks. And that turned into a few months.

I stopped contributing to IdeaLab and even to SiliconBeat. And that was actually tough. Because a number of times I had something I really want to say, and forced myself not to say it.

In part, I've been trying to think about how to re-balance things in my life. Since I returned to work in mid-2007, I've frequently been working until 2 a.m. trying to juggle work at the Mercury News and outside projects and blogging. It hasn't been great for my health, even if I did enjoy it.

I'm back to blogging now. But I'm going to try to make other things a priority. Number one being my health. That's going to start with a self-enforced bed time of 11 a.m. each night. I've always known this, but getting enough sleep is essential to having the energy to work out and eat better.

I'm also trying to get back to reading. All my adult life, I've been a voracious reader of novels. The longer, the better. But back in 2007, I had a lot of research material to read, and I delved deep in to blogs, and I made a conscious decision to put books aside for awhile. That break turned into two years. I've been trying the past few months to read again, but fitting it in has been a struggle. I'm determined to do it, though. I believe I write better when I'm reading a lot of creative writing. So this is both a personal and professional issue.

So, these are my resolutions for 2010. Please hold me to them.

Fire And Rain

Our plans for a Saturday morning yard sale were upended by a rain storm. Not just a drizzle, or mist. But a real storm, with thunder and lightning. I can probably count on my hands the number of those I've seen those in the 10 years I've lived in the Bay Area. And so, we were in full improvisation mode.

Kalian, always the curious one, wanted to go for a walk around the block just to see what it was like to walk in the rain under an umbrella. (see picture above).

When we got back, I needed to find something to amuse them. Fortunately, I came across a listing for an open house at The Crucible. I had always wanted to visit and what could be better than a free open house? The Crucible is a big, industrial art studio where artists forge big metal sculptures, blow fantastic glass objects, and in general build all sorts of inspiring, funky things. It's one of the great Bay Area-Burning Man type places that makes me appreciate living here.

So I took Liam and Kalian down for a few hours and it was as good as I'd hoped. Liam walked right in and exclaimed, "This place is awesome." There were some people blowing glass in a big furnace when we first entered.

Liam and Kalian both spent about 30 minutes making picture frames and magnets out of glass fragments:

Then it was on to making etchings in sand plates:


And then clay:

Liam made an elaborate clay sculpture involving an alien and a swimming pool with diving board:


It's great to see Liam so engaged. For so long, he was the kid who refused to do any art-related activities. I never wanted to press him to hard, but I remember being so disappointed any time I tried to nudge him to try a craft of some kind and he ran screaming in the other direction. He's always been very creative and it's great to seem him finally developing the patience to create the things in his mind. Earlier in the day, he staged a whole play behind the couch using action figures and playmobile people.

So the Crucible was a hit, and from there we drove the Berkeley Y for an hour of swimming before heading home to watch (gulp) Tinkerbelle. It was Kalian's turn to pick for movie night, and she had been dying to watch this godawful DVD that someone gave her. And yes, it was horrific.

But as days without a plan go, this was a great one. Tomorrow, we've got a regular family meditation gathering which will fill most of the day.

Kalian Rides!

Tonight, Kalian officially left behind the running bike and rode her pedal bike around the block. We may not have done much right as parents, but we've done pretty well with the whole bike riding thing. Both kids learned to ride first on a running bike, rather than using training wheels. I had a hunch that Kalian was ready about a month ago. Tonight, after a rough evening with tantrums galore, Kalian asked if I'd take her out on the pedal bike because, "It had been, a long, long, long time since we rode the pedal bike."

Sure enough, she hopped right on, scooted a few feet, and then pedaled away. Of course, she had to stop every few feet to offer up commentary on what she was doing. But that was just her way of being excited. And she was beaming.

At one point, she needed help to get started. I was holding the seat and giving her a push. When she was ready for me to let go she shouted, "Daddy, I don't need you any more!" And it made me smile and wince at the same time.

It was just the latest, obvious sign of how quickly she's growing up, and changing. I just noticed the other night, as she was falling asleep, that she's barely blonde any more. She was a redhead until she was about two, and then went sharply blonde. Now her hair has turned brown with only some blonde streaks remaining. She'll soon have Jen's brownish-blonde hair. But the curls are only getting more intense. My lone contribution to her genetic structure, I think.

Here she was at the dentist a couple weeks ago, already a pro who was proud she knew the ropes:

And because she's only going to pre-school four days this year, we hang out Friday mornings. She requested we stop by Nomad's for a bagel. And I couldn't help but notice that she looked like a teenager curled up in the big lounge chair, snacking away:

For now, though, she shows no sign of leaving behind is her princess obsession. But who knows how much longer that will last? Okay, who are we kidding. That will probably be around for a few more years. Until the Hannah Montana years start.

Old Friends And New Ones At The End Of Summer

Just returning from a wonderful afternoon spent at Dolores Park watching the fantastic SF Mime Troupe, a real Bay Area treasure. The musical this year, "Too Big To Fail." Not their best, but still spot on political satire.

Even better, though, we spent the afternoon with Doug and Karen, two new friends we've met through Liam's elementary school. It's taken awhile for us to really gel with anyone there. I think it's natural. But I was definitely overwhelmed last year with all the new faces. We had the 20 new families from his kindergarten room. And then there were the 25 new families at Kalian's new pre-school (her third school in three years, poor thing). I barely felt I had time for all the people in our lives already. And now we had another 45 families with which to mingle.

Back when we lived in Cambridge, it took almost the whole year before I felt like we were just become a part of some people's lives when we left. It's not easy, given that everyone comes to the table with their own friends, their own complicated lives.

For the past year, that's meant a lot of work arranging play-dates for Liam, who demands them constantly. As most parents know, this can feel like a full-time job, adding another layer of scheduling.

As such, we tend to be the ultimate last-minute people. This weekend, that paid off. We had old friends Lori and Ori, and daughters Hannah and Ruby, over for a BBQ on Saturday, responding to an email I sent out Friday night. We met through our midwife, initially worried that Hannah and Liam would be born too close together for us both to use her. Hannah and Liam went to pre-school together. And when we returned form Cambridge, we very nearly decided to move into their house (a duplex) and do the group house thing. Our blooming fruit trees in the back yard convinced us to stay put. (Though as a side note, had we sold our house, we would hit the very top of the housing market back in 2007. Ah, well).

Still, Lori and Ori are the kind of folks we worry about loosing touch with as the kids move to different schools. And so far, to our relief, it hasn't happened.

And on Sunday, also in a last minute invite, Karen and Doug met us at Dolores Park and then we grabbed burritos before riding Bart back together. Oddly, Liam's classmates Vera pals around with Kalian, while her younger brother Roy buddies up with Liam. I guess gender trumps age. But when our two have playmates, it makes all the difference. One hates to be mercenary, but there it is.

It was a great ending to summer. And I'm again promising myself that this Fall, I'll become a better planner.

A New School Year Begins

I posted that shortly after returning home from dropping the Liam off for his first day as a first grader. That's amazing to even write. And it brings on a flood of memories from a summer that was alternately stressful and wonderful. And there's that small pang that Liam is taking one more step toward growing up, and inevitably, away.

The morning started off with his usual grumbling about school, even as I tried to play up the fact that he would get to see all of his friends. And he missed his friends terribly over the summer. He couldn't get enough play dates to satisfy his constant hunger for companionship.

When we arrived at school, Liam gave Ms. G, the director, a High 5, and walked straight into class. His school puts two grades in each class, so he's still in a K/1 class. Having the same teacher for the second year made the start almost a non-event for him. He found his new table, and immediately began making his name tag without anyone explaining to him what he ought to be doing. That's a big deal for him.



Then he turned to the new Kindergartner next to him and began explaining everything about NOCCS and, of course, Star Wars. That taken care of, he went in search of his buddy, Kai. And lo, Kai was wearing the exact same Lego Star Wars shirt that Liam had under his jacket.



I watched as the new teaching assistant, Oscar, watched the comparison of Star Wars shirts and I thought, "Oscar, that's everything you need to know about these two. Good luck." Later, Liam came home with his first light saber drawing of the year. Probably the first of 180 we'll see this year. Sigh.

Still, I couldn't help but notice how independent he seemed. Such a contrast to last year. Grown up, but not completely. When I got home, Liam wanted to play Caillou and Rosie. And he wanted to read a Thomas The Train book for bed. Still a bit of that little boy left inside there.

Still a little bit of the boy who doesn't feel any embarrassment about putting on the Pink Power Ranger costume when his cousins came to visit:



Jen took Kalian to pre-school and true to form, Kalian was giddy and couldn't get there soon enough. Such stereotypes, these children of mine. She has a new teacher, who I have yet to meet. But there was very little drama, I'm told.

So closes another summer. I'll remember our big trip to Yosemite. Our fabulous trip to Family Camp. And how both taught me that the key to any happy vacation is to make sure my children have friends with them.

I'll remember Liam's fixation with wanting to sell everything he owns to get money to buy more stuff. And how Kalian seemed to become more precocious by the day.



We survived our first round of summer camps and the extreme juggling skills that required.

We limped through a final week where Jen threw her back out just as her sister came for a visit from Korea with two cousins. The same cousins who apparently managed to convert our two kids to God-fearing Christians during their brief visit. (Liam spent one evening crying that mommy and daddy were going to a bad place because we didn't believe in God).

But we made it. Across the finnish line. And so I'm ready for Fall, and some calm.

Back from Yosemite

Well, we actually got back more than a week ago. But what a week it's been.

Just as I was about to leave for work last Monday, Jen threw her back out while doing Yoga. I stayed home on sick leave the whole week to take care of her and the kids. And on top of that, her sister who lives in South Korea came to visit for two days. So stress levels were high and exhaustion was felt by all.

But I finally found some time to put together some of our photos and videos from the trip:

Big tooth number 2 comes out!

Back From Yosemite

We returned from Yosemite late, late Friday night. I'm going to wade through photos and gather some thoughts. But first, going with my recent fascination with maps, I wanted to play with the GPS in my BlackBerry. Along with regular pictures and some video, I took occasional photos with the BB which automatically geotagged them using the GPS. It took some doing, but here's a basic map of 21 photos:


View Yosemite in a larger map

Off To Yosemite

--------------------------
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Marketing Firm Nails Our Princess-Superhero Vibe

During a play date over the weekend, a random catalog for Halloween costumes slipped into our mailbox. Somehow, a marketing firm absolutely hit its target demographic right on the money. On the cover was this:



The photo is a little grainy, but it's a ninja warrior and a couple of Transformer type costumes. Inside, pages of Star Wars related costumes, superheroes and all sorts of fun stuff. Liam's friend, Kai, was over when it arrived and they must have spent an hour on the floor flipping through it.

Of course, once you got halfway through, the themes changed:



This caught Kalian's eye, naturally. The second from the right is "Belle" (of "Beauty and the Beast"). Kalian is completely obsessed with Belle, though I can find no record of her ever watching the movie. When Jen got home the other night, Kalian showed her the picture and explained that she needed a Belle costume for Halloween, and listed all the accessories that would need to go with it.

Jen calmly explained that we wouldn't buy all that stuff, but might see if we could make some, or maybe find some on Craigslist.

And then, because he loves his sister so (most of the time, though not all..), Liam chimed in that we could use all his money to buy his sister a Belle costume for Halloween.

A Few Of My Favorite Toys

In a short email asking for some new photos of the kids, my mom ended by writing, "I bet you're excited about that new G.I. Joe movie coming out!"

Well, no, actually. But that note, more than the incessant movie trailers suddenly jarred me into remembering that G.I. Joe had once been my absolutely favorite toy. Strange that I had somehow forgotten. Of course, like so many "classic" toys, G.I. Joe has evolved into something far more sophisticated and violent. The movie looks ultraviolent.

The G.I. Joes I had were from the early 1970s. And I can remember the thrill of getting a G.I. Joe with a "kung-fu action grip."

This gentleman was my constant companion:

Too bad, of course, that I didn't hang on to them because I'm sure they're valuable collectors items.

This also got me thinking about my other favorite toys.

Naturally, there were Legos. In fact, the giant bucket of Legos that Liam plays with six hours a day are mostly my Legos that my mom had the wisdom to save. Because boy, are they expensive!

The other big one was "Micronauts." These have all but vanished, having been discontinued in 1980. But my parents must have spent a few hundred, if not a thousand, dollars buying me Micronaut-related action figures and accessories. Micronauts were what came before Transformers, but were a similar idea. Because all the pieces of the figures and accessories had similar connectors, everything could be taken apart and re-constructed in infinite configurations:



And I remember this Micronauts Rocket Tube being one of my greatest Christmas presents ever:



Of course, it's total hypocrisy that I would never buy any of these things for Liam (excluding Legos). We've tried to steer away from his budding Transformer curiosity. And we worry constantly about his attachment to consumer goods and violent videos.

(Me: "Liam, what do you want to watch?" Liam: "Just something with violence.")

But I do miss those toys. And even though it drives me crazy at times, I'm still glad that he's so passionate about Legos.

Technology, The Future, And My Children

As someone who makes a living writing about technology and innovation, I probably spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about the future. While I'm not a gadget obsessive like so many in Silicon Valley, I do embrace my inner geek and am always glad to see some of that rubbing off on my kids.

This summer, Liam has been attending several sessions of what is popularly known as "Sarah's Science Camp." (Officially: "This Land Is Our Land.") As is typical, Liam complains on a daily basis about having to go. But it's been clear over the weeks that he's tremendously excited about the projects they get to build. Each week has a theme (circuits, gravity, etc.). In the past few weeks, Liam has built a flashlight, a catapult, a metal detector, and all sorts of cool, nerdy stuff. I think it's so important because the way our society is evolving, we're so much more disconnected from the way things are made, from our cars to our food. I wrote about that theme and the joy of creating after we visited the Maker Faire.

I had less of that as a kid, though I did go to computer camp the summer after eighth grade. Which may tell you all you need to know about what my adolescence was like. Rather than hanging out at the pool and finding a girl to "go steady" with, I was learning how to plot a pixel and save it to a floppy disk.

It's staggering to look back at the immense technological change I've experienced since that computer camp. When I was unpacking some stuff I brought home from the office today, I pulled out a plastic baggy full of diskettes:



Liam looked at them and asked, "Daddy, what are those?" I explained, but he will never, ever use one. That got me thinking of all the other things he'll never probably use when he's an adult. Desktop PCs will probably look ridiculous. And wires? Very possibly our kids will laugh that we had this spaghetti-like mess of wires under out desks.

At the same time, our family has been pretty conservative about a lot of technology. We don't have a video game player, though Liam has recently discovered the existence of the Wii and is dying to get one. So far, the answer is no, but that'll change at some point.

I think this is one of the things that I appreciate, though, about being a parent. How these little moments cause me to re-experience parts of my own childhood, how seeing things through their eyes forces me to see the present in a different light, and how thinking about them growing up leaves me a little envious about the world they'll inherit.

I guess that means that on the whole, I'm optimistic rather than pessimistic about the future we'll leave them.